Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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