wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
