i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
