i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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