Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
