So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
