im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
