Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
