I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
