The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
