So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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