I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
