So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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