Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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