There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
