You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she peed on how many people?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
