He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
