Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
