Dual....:-)
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
