fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
...so i touched it.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
love makes seman taste better
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
