Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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