Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize