so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How naked do you want me to be?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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