yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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