someone owes me an orgasm
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
