In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
