Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
