And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
