and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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