I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
