We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
