YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Girls should come with a carfax report
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
