my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
