I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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