So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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