whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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