I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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