Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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