mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
