My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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