We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
