I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
pray to the hookup gods
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
