Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
