Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My ATM looks so different sober.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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