Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
