Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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