She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so let's talk penis.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
