haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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