drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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