I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
